And so we have come to Saturday, the last day of our vacation, though it is really the second day of our un-vacation travel time. Or, the reprise of day 0.5. No matter what you call it, it is not really part of the vacation in my opinion.
It is, however, very much part of the travelling.
Let me begin today’s post by telling you this simple fact: last night was awesome!
Cut for those who prefer to end on a high note
Warning: this blog post is possibly filled with all sorts of negativity, hostility and travel-related bitterness.
Cut for those who just can’t take any more bitterness, hostility and negativity
Well, this is it – the last real day of our vacation. Tomorrow we get the pleasure of loading up the car, packing ourselves into it and driving half way home. Tomorrow we get to visit new restrooms and eat crappy food along the side of the highway. Tomorrow we get to find out what we forgot to do during this long, lazy week.
Cut for those who want to keep thinking the vacation glass is half full
Today was much like the past few days. No internet, no joy for Rob. I got up to write some more and finally got the rest of my Chinese Whisperings stuff completed! Of course, without internet, I couldn’t get it to my editor. The deadlines were coming and going fast, but there was nothing I could do about it. As Douglas Adams said,
Cut for anyone who, inexplicably, doesn’t care what Douglas Adams said
I got up early today figuring I’d head over to the Activity Center to find and use the internet. My withdrawal symptoms from not having internet or email are getting worse, not better, so I need my email fix and I need it now!
So, I journeyed to that crib and I let myself inside… sorry, went to a Tone Loc place there for a second; all better now… So, I went inside the Activity Center and was met by a big, ugly monster with fangs, horns and blood dripping from its rotten, fetid mouth.
Cut for those too scared by this realism to continue
I woke up this morning and immediately set to work on my Chinese Whisperings commitments. These included some author biography work as well as a behind-the-scenes look and, most importantly, more work on the re-writing of “Thirteen Feathers”. It was my goal to get these items emailed out to my patient and loving editor by the end of the day. Well, to be honest, I hoped to just get the bio and behind-the-scenes bits out to her; the story probably needs another thirteen hours of revising beyond what I can do today.
So, I made my morning coffee and settled in to write. Words, so often my friends, have been failing me lately, but even so I’ve been able to get some to flow onto the page. Apparently, though, my life-long struggles to write about myself continue and I struggled greatly with my bio. Who’d have thought that writing approximately 100 words could take so long? I mean, I can usually bang out a thousand words or more in thirty minutes – even faster on a good day! But tell me to write about myself and, well, it’s like I’ve never written or spoken a single word in my life. This is why I never changed jobs despite being miserable for a long time at my old company – I didn’t know how write the cover letter! And the resume – limit me to a few bullet points and I am dead in the water!
Cut for those who think this post will be about my resume-building tips and tricks.
I woke up to more weather today. It was sunny and warm.
What? That’s still weather, even if it’s not a big bad windy and wet storm, isn’t it?
Anyway, it was planned to be a somewhat lazy and laid-back day. Partly that’s because I don’t feel like driving 40 minutes or more just to get to civilization. Partly it’s because I have some editing and reflection pieces to write for Chinese Whisperings. Partly it’s because it’s vacation, gosh darn it, and we’re supposed to be lazy and resting!
So, I spent the morning lamenting the lack of internet in the villas. I had things to send to my editor, stuff to do for work and a general addiction to email, so this missing feature of the resort was causing me some stress. People think I’m addicted to coffee, and while that may be true, I get far more withdrawal symptoms from a lack of internet than I do from a lack of coffee.
Cut for those who don’t want this blog to be about my vices.
I woke up to more stormy weather this morning, storminess that mirrored the mess inside my head. I wouldn’t say I lost sleep over anything, I just kind of woke up feeling full of regrets or something. It was somewhat disorienting, really. I don’t remember dreaming much. The only one I remember at all was about my audition a week ago for “The Music Man”. The dream included loud, disembodied voices shouting at me as I was trying to sing my audition song, “Extraordinary” from “Pippin”.
Cut for those who think this will just be a dream analysis post
I was so excited to continue travelling, I woke up at 2:30 in the morning. It clearly had nothing to do with the bed. Or the pillow. Or the fact that hotel beds make me feel like I’m sleeping downhill, no matter what direction I sleep. I couldn’t follow the suggestion I received on my last business trip, which was to sleep in the middle of the bed. Well, I guess I could have followed it, if I was willing to kick my wife onto the floor, but experience has taught me that this might not be the best course of action, so I did not do it. This time. Cut for those who are disappointed that I didn’t kick my wife out of the bed
Well, the most exciting day I never enjoy seeing has arrived. Day Zero of Vacation! Day Zero, the day we travel from home to wherever our car might take us. Cut for those who think this vacation blog will be as meandering as the roads we travelled
Wow. This blog post isn’t starting out too well. I mean, today’s not day six of Convergence 2010, since Convergence really was over yesterday. Technically speaking, Friday’s entry, entitled “Convergence 2010, Day One” was a misnomer as well, since it didn’t really start until Saturday. But, since I’m generally known as a lazy person who exaggerates things, I’ll stick to the naming convention I’ve always used, which is to either (a) pick random names out of thin air; or (b) to title travel blog posts in such a way that the beginning and ending days are considered part of the event even though they are technically “travel days” and aren’t actually part of the vacation or trade show. Clearly, I’ve picked option (b) for my travel blog while choosing option (a) for my fiction blog. If you think this is confusing at this point, just wait until the summer vacation blog entries – we’re planning TWO DAYS of travel each way for that trip. I’m sure it will make for a compelling, exciting and confusingly titled read!
But I digress. Again.
Actually, is it called digressing when you’re foreshadowing? Or should I have said, “But I foreshadow”? Or “But I foregress?” Hmmm. Microsoft Word doesn’t have ‘foregress’ in its dictionary – does that mean I’ve just invented a new word? What does it take to make a new word anyway? Three separate usages in print? Is that what it is? I think it has to be three uses by different bloggers, so the fact that I’ve now typed ‘foregress’ three times does not mean that the word will show up in the dictionary any time soon.
Cut for those who wish I’d forego the foregressing about how confusing the titles are going to be this summer and just get on with the horrifically bad blogging
Can you smell that?
Take a deep breath. Yes, the point is, in fact, to inhale. That smell, my friends, is the scent of Day Five. Day Five – the penultimate day of my trip to Atlanta.
Cut for those who refuse to inhale
Monday, Monday…. Can’t trust that day… Monday, Monday….
What is it about Monday that makes it so painful and untrustworthy? Why hasn’t Monday been tagged by Congress or the CIA or FBI as an enemy combatant? Clearly, it attacks us without warning, kicks us when we’re down and unrelentingly points and laughs at us as we whimper and whine our way through it. Mondays should be illegal. In fact, the word “Monday” should be one of those words that can’t be said on television. Monday’s are cruel and unusual punishment for whatever we might have done on the weekend. Mondays are…
Cut for those who don’t want to know anything more about this day